I sell my sparkling personality.

I wish I had a dollar for every time a guy has gasped at the beauty of my fricken’ huge labia and swore they were the most beautiful fricken’ huge labia in the universe. I thought I wanted vaginoplasty until I started doing sex work and raking in the adoration of men who like long lips. Take that, anti-sexwork activists- whoring makes me feel better about my body, not worse.

Stuff I have to do today-

-Call the courthouse in Gilliam County, OR about paying fines and having my license re-instated, which I should have done a month ago. 

-Go to PP for new pills, STD testing, and maybe a pelvic exam if they have time. I haven’t had a pap in three years, so I should probably get on that.

-Call the CPA I’m trying to work in trade with, so I can pay my kajillion-dollar taxes before the serious penalties kick in.

-Buy blindfolds and ball-gags for tonight’s three-hour session.

I wish I was a proper adult. Every time I start feeling like I have my shit together, I realize I forgot to do something important and now it’s going to bite me. I’m much better than I used to be, but I still struggle everyday with getting things done and not just hiding under the blankets with my laptop, hoping that my responsibilities can’t find me if I ignore them hard enough.

I need someone to hold me while I cry about what they did to the character of Jaime in this episode. Is there a petition started to make HBO do an alternate episode where they actually follow the book?

Aughhh, I don’t want to go to work! This client is SO demanding. He actually writes a script for our scenes, with an outline of all the things he expects from the session. I know I sound like a big whiner- “Nooo, someone expects me to work hard so they get their money’s worth!”, but there are dozens of other clients in my life who are happy to get a session with me at all, and don’t write me a goddamn playbook. 

On the upside, I get to do it as a duo session with a really cute girl. She looks like Christina Ricci with a big butt. I would have cancelled on this guy and told him to piss up a rope, but images of this girl’s naked butt are dancing in my head, so I’m gonna tough it out.

http://summerstinanesthesia.tumblr.com/post/83325074899/i-dont-understand-how-i-affect-people-a-few

summerstinanesthesia:

I don’t understand how I affect people. A few dancers now, bank dancers, have told me that their clients always turn and stare at me when I walk by and ask about me constantly. Whenever I tell them that I rarely make over $300 a night they react with a ton of surprise. So I think, hey, it must be…

I’m not even hot and queer women get deer-in-the-headlights when I try to flirt with them. Not that you’re not devastatingly hot, because you almost certainly are, but I think some queer ladies come off as so straight that other queers go ‘what are you even doing here?’ when you try to chat them up.

Or at least, that’s my theory. It might just be that I have a face like ten miles of bad road, and nobody wants to talk to me! :D 

diaryofalondoncallgirl:

toomuchperfume
A very long time internet friend and her baby boy live there and I’ve wanted to meet her forever!

Well! If you come through Utah or the bottom of Idaho, let me buy you a cup of coffee and our ridiculous local version of a scone! 

diaryofalondoncallgirl:

toomuchperfume

A very long time internet friend and her baby boy live there and I’ve wanted to meet her forever!

Well! If you come through Utah or the bottom of Idaho, let me buy you a cup of coffee and our ridiculous local version of a scone! 

Shoooes.

Oh my god, Hot Ukrainian is texting me from mass. He’s gonna go to hell. I just want to drink my beer and play flash games all night, not participate in your damnation.

In other news, he gave me $300 for no reason today, so I think I should buy several pairs of really nice sandals. I despise flip-flop style sandals, and love toe-ring style ones. Any recommendations for flats that are also sexy?

People who say escorts aren’t running a small business need to come do all my screening and answer my email for me. I am sick of answering emails. I swear I spend multiple hours a day on email and screening alone, which is the boring part I don’t get paid for. If it were all presents and sex, everyone would do it.

AHHHM HANGREEEEHHHH!

AHHHM HANGREEEEHHHH!