I sell my sparkling personality.

The hottest, skinny-with-extension dancer in the club just tucked some singles in my undies and watched my entire set. She said I’m beautiful and she likes my pole-work.

Because I’m still in awkward high-schooler mode, I’m like, ‘girl, what is your angle? Are you trying to fuck with my head? Because it’s working.’

This stripper has satin ribbons tied around her upper thighs, and it makes her look like a parade pony. I love it!

New club, same titties.

Voicemail from my regular

the-electronic-grey:

asking me to call him if I happen to be up at 5 in the morning so that he can wake up and get to his doctor’s appointment on time

I

um

this was not discussed beforehand in any capacity

uncomfortable levels of familiarity here

Is this going to be a thing now

dude

Whaaaaaat.

My noon session was with this forty-something year old dude who was SO HAPPY. He came in laughing because nothing was going right today. We went to my room and he cheerfully told me about his recent fiasco of a business trip. Pre- and post- blowjob, he was telling me about how much he loves his (boring!) job, how great being a single father is, and how his girlfriend and he are breaking up because she got her dream job across the country and he’s so excited for her living her dream.

It was so worth getting up two hours early. I caught his infectious optimism.

somepretty-things:

boo-author:

fluffmugger:

beckyblackbooks:

Yawns are catching. Even when you’re kittens in a bucket.

OH GOD THERE ARE THREE OF THEM

The mythical kittydra!



I like to think this is what a portal to hell would look like. The devil is supposed to be tempting, and what would draw you in faster than a bucket of kittens?

somepretty-things:

boo-author:

fluffmugger:

beckyblackbooks:

Yawns are catching. Even when you’re kittens in a bucket.

OH GOD THERE ARE THREE OF THEM

The mythical kittydra!

I like to think this is what a portal to hell would look like. The devil is supposed to be tempting, and what would draw you in faster than a bucket of kittens?

(Source: catleecious, via emmyc)